I’m constantly wondering why you get so jealous over petty things.
I posted two emojis on my snapchat story. The picture was of my warm blanket on my bed with a caption that reads, “sleep at last 😘💤💕”
You texted me asking, “so how would you feel if I was sending hearts and kiss faces to other people” I immediately felt a rush of anxiety and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t do anything wrong. After explaining myself to you, I held on to resentment for your obvious stupidity.
You say, I trust you.
I don’t believe you.
I don’t understand why I feel like I need to justify everything I post on social media to you. I don’t understand why you can’t accept that I don’t want you looking through my phone when I say I trust you, too. If you really trusted me, you wouldn’t need to ask that question. If you really trusted me, you would listen.
I was raised with many morals and one that has always stuck with me is that everyone deserves some privacy. I sometimes feel you don’t respect mine.
I don’t deserve to be accused of outrageous actions that I have not and would not do. As my partner, you should trust that I would not do anything to hurt you. So why is it that you question my loyalty and distrust in me so?
I know I’m not perfect. I have my faults, but I would not dare accuse you of stupid shit.
Being in a long distance relationship is difficult and has its challenges, but feeling distrust from the one person I am emotionally closest to makes me feel like pulling away. I don’t know why I’d want to live together again- especially when irrational jealousy is so prevalent in your brain. I don’t want to make a home with you if I can’t feel free to be myself with you. I don’t want to live in a home where I feel all my actions and emotions are criticized. Criticism is not love. Encouragement is.
I feel like you are boxing me up and wrapping the box shut. I am confined to the walls you have chosen and I am not allowed to leave. I am not okay with feeling like this anymore. I don’t want to feel like this any longer.